Looking After Yourself After a Divorce


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After the divorce

When a significant relationship ends your world is turned upside-down. The heartbreak is devastating whether you were the one who chose to end it or not. You have not only lost your partner and best friend but also the plans and dreams you had for the future. Questions and ruminating on what went wrong can dominate every moment of your day and it is natural to want to make sense of it all.

In this painful period following a divorce it is important to take care of yourself. Your confidence and stability have taken a knock and by making your needs a priority, you will slowly find a way forward. As hard as it seems right now, you will find happiness again. Here is some advice from ‘Relate’ on ways to look after yourself after a divorce:


Keep talking. Talking is the best way to prevent isolation and help maintain perspective. You're not alone and sharing your heartaches and victories with a trusted friend, family member or neighbour will help to carry you along.


Let yourself grieve. it's normal to feel shock when a relationship finally comes to an end and it can take time for the reality of this to settle in. You'll have good days and bad days - give yourself time.


Let go of anger. Many people feel stuck with their anger. They either feel angry at themselves or angry at their partner. Holding on to this anger maintains an emotional connection between you and your ex and slows up your ability to move on. Make time to relax. This could mean reading a book, going for a walk, soaking in the bath, going for a run or gardening.


Set small goals. Setting yourself small achievable goals not only boosts feel good chemicals, but also boosts your confidence. Whether it's getting a chore out of the way, going out for the evening or starting a new project at work, it will help you to see and know that you're moving on.


Look after your health. Make sure you take regular exercise and maintain a healthy diet. Unfortunately comfort eating is more likely to make you depressed than cheer you up.


Plan ahead. Write down a list of all the things you're going to do when you get through this. When you have bad days, you can use this list to remind yourself that you still have a future ahead of you.

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