Are you in a dilemma about your relationship? Trying to decide whether to keep at it or take the plunge and separate? It’s a big decision to take on board so here are 10 questions to ask yourself if you are in this predicament.
1. Are you to the point that your spouse just can't do anything right, does everything they do get under your skin? Have you sought the help of a marital therapist and explored why you're feeling resentment toward your spouse?
2. Does everything lead to an argument? And I mean everything. The way he leaves his shoes in the middle of the room sets you off. The way she interrupts you when you're talking makes you want to bite your tongue and her's too?
3. Are you tired of the fighting, so tired you can't muster up the energy to even engage anymore? Is so, it may take time to explore more proactive ways of solving conflicts in your marriage. A lack of problem-solving skills promotes a never-ending
4. Has the love you felt been replaced by resentment? See number 1 above. Don't throw in the towel on your marriage until you clearly understand where the resentment is coming from and whether there is a solution to that problem.
5. Would you rather be anywhere than with your spouse? Maybe you should consider taking time away from your spouse. A legal separation before filing for a divorce may help you work through the issues causing you to need time away from him/her.
6. When you and your spouse are together, do you find you have nothing to talk about or that you have little interest in talking to him/her? If this is the case it may be time to invest some effort into reconnecting emotionally with your spouse. Just because you don't feel bonded with them doesn't mean you can't rebuild a bond.
7. Does the idea of sex with your spouse cause you to shudder? Or, maybe you like the idea of sex with your spouse but they constantly withhold intimacy. Do some thinking about what is causing the intimacy problems in your marriage and, explore possible solutions?
8. Are you having an affair or thinking about having an affair? If so, there are definitely problems in the marriage you need to face head on and not engage in an affair as a distraction. An affair doesn't solve problems, it makes more problems!
9. You find yourself being passive aggressive and doing the opposite of what your spouse needs from you just to spite him/her?
10. Are thoughts of divorce running through your mind on a regular basis? If you've not communicated your unhappiness or doubts with your spouse, it's time to do so.
Don't worry, just because you answered yes to most of the questions doesn't necessarily mean you are headed for divorce. It does mean, however, that it is time to take action. Your marriage is in trouble and you need to either confront the problems between you and your partner or you both need to think about moving on.